Alice's Childhood Secrets
by Pink Peppermint
Summary: Read about Alice's life before she went to Wonderland- Why Edith hates her, why Alice values life, why Lorina means so much, and why she vows to never fall in love again. Also, side stories of Alice as a little kid!


10-year-old Alice Liddell watched silently as they lowered her mother into the coffin.

Her eyes were blank and lifeless, her face showing no signs of tears nor sadness. Her face was motionless.

People around her were weeping. Even her father and both sisters, Lorina, and Edith had waterworks coming out of their eyes. Alice was still in shock. She couldn't even think- how was she supposed to process this?

There were no warning signs. She couldn't have mentally prepare herself for this. Her mother had only gone out to get some groceries- how was she to know she would have gotten run over?

Alice turned away. She couldn't bear to see the sight of her mother being covered up. She silently retreated to the other side of the cemetery. She sat down, and for once, she let it reality sink into her mind.

_Mother is dead- and it's all my fault. _

Lorina kept telling Alice it wasn't her fault- Edith blamed Alice entirely. If Alice hadn't stopped whining about there being no milk, this wouldn't have happened. _Are you happy now?! _Edith had screamed to her. _You got your milk! Only for the price of our mother!_

Alice let a hot, painful tear roll down her cheek. She hastily wiped it away. That was the only tear she let out that day. After all, she wasn't _allowed _to cry. It was her fault- and she was making everyone else suffer because of her selfish requests.

Alice dropped her head onto her knees. _This is horrible. I should have died instead of mother. This is my fault. Everyone adored her. No one would have minded me dead. Why didn't God take me instead of her?!_

"Alice?"

A gentle voice interrupted Alice's thoughts. She looked up to see her 13-year-old sister, Lorina, walk towards her with tears streaming down her face.

"Alice, we're leaving now. "

Alice quickly got up and walked beside her sister. Both of them walked back to their father and Edith.

Edith looked from Lorina to Alice. Edith's face filled with loath and disgust when she saw Alice. "What are _you _doing here?! _You aren't even crying! _Do you have no sympathy- _Did you even value her life?! Look at us!" _Hot tears ran down Edith's face. Alice looked down towards the grass in shame. "_You don't belong here! You didn't even cry! Not even once! You only care about yourself! _You make me _sick!" _At that point, Edith's voice had cracked and she continued to sob.

Alice swallowed a huge lump in her throat. Even though others told Alice it wasn't her fault, Alice knew the truth. And only Edith would point that out to her. In a way, Alice was glad Edith was doing so.

_"It was tragic really. Such a young beautiful mother and she has a husband and three kids! The youngest is 8, too!"_

_"Yes, she was quite beautiful. I'd say the oldest one is most similar to her, though. "_

_"She was so good at everything. Cooking, cleaning, sewing-She was flawless! Such a shame, don't you think so?"_

_"You know I heard rumours that it was the middle child's fault-Alice, was it? Poor girl, she probably believes these ridiculous rumours."_

Alice's ears had heard everything going around them. She didn't care though- let them think what want. She knew the truth.

"Enough. "

Everyone looked towards their father. Ever since their mother had died, he hadn't said a word. "Get into the car. "

All three girls were obedient, their sobs muffled in their tissues. Alice looked out to the land rolling past her. It seemed as though even the Earth was mourning the loss of their mother. Rain poured down heavily, drenching everything in its path.

_Even the world is mourning my mother, and I've only cried a drop. I'm a terrible daughter. _

Alice looked to her left, and saw her entire family crying. There seemed to be no end to the tears they had been shedding. Even her father was sobbing quietly.

_Why didn't God take me instead?_

* * *

_**Yo! **_

**So, it just occurred to me to write about Alice's past before she came into Wonderland. There will be more chapters of Alice in her teen years until she's 15/16/17 when she ends up in Wonderland. **

**background info:**

**its mentioned in Heart no Kuni no Alice/Alice in the country of hearts (the first one) that Edith hates Alice because Alice didn't cry at their mother's funeral- and i decided to add that maybe it was also Alice's fault their mom had died in the first place. **

**I also wanted Lorina to be the really nice, older sister who comforted you. i was thinking that if Alice had supposedly "doomed" their mother and Lorina was the sister who didn't blame her- or hate Alice, would be the reason why Alice feels like she owes her sister everything, and seems to think Lorina is perfect. **

**I got this chapter's scene from the anime/movie. **

**Well, hopefully i captured this scene nicely. I did it to the best of my ability, okie. Dun judge. _ Also, i try to make each chapter 1,000 words O_O is that too much?! ..0.0**

**review if you liked it( or if you didn't ) and if it seems to go along with the story :)**

**stay tuned! **


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